It was hard to know where to start with today’s write up; at the beginning when things seemed fine or at the end after a day of anxiety? The main takeaway is that we survived our experience and have lived to see another day. There were a couple of moments during the day where I doubted that outcome though!

We had an early pick up at 8 am for our tour to Gozo, a small island off the north of the Malta mainland, so we didn’t have time for an early walk. For the next two hours we wound through the streets of Malta picking up further tour participants and made it to the ferry terminal near 10 am. There were about 20-25 of us that were loaded on a boat and, then, it just took off into relatively high seas. We thumped along, with shrieks from those at the rear, as the boat rose and dived in quick succession for around 15 minutes. When we got off the boat we both said there’s no way we were going to get back on for the return trip. Mark then started googling alternative transport options for the trip back.

We thought the worst was over but. How wrong we were. There was a mix up with bookings and so we were left on the dock, along with another Portuguese couple and a young French guy, waiting for a jeep and guide to take us on our tour of the island.

After 20 minutes or so Joey turned up. Joey was a larger that life guy who enjoyed his own jokes. We should have twigged there would be an issue when we were ushered into the back of a clapped out jeep and we tried to put on the seat belts. At this point we were told not to bother as they didn’t work any way.

So, off we went with last minute, roped-in Joey accelerating and revving at high speed and tearing along the very crude roads whilst prattling on. What he prattled on about all day, we have no idea: between the high revving, clunking gear changes and strong wind almost whipping our hair off, Mark and I didn’t hear a word that Joey said all day. We spent most of our time working out how to stay seated in the back of the jeep as it thumped and jumped at high speed along the way and which was rather reminiscent of the ocean crossing we’d just made. I already had some damaged facet joints, due to arthritis, and I’m now sure I’ve got further damage thanks to the Jeep ride.

There was a lot of ‘lost in translation’ throughout the day but we ended up seeing a couple of key sites, albeit briefly. Mark and I got to see the Ggantija Temple complex, dated 3,600 – 2,500 BC, with these being the second oldest man-made religious structures, after Göbekli Tepe in present-day Turkey, and they are older than the pyramids of Egypt. Interestingly, the land with the Temples was held privately until 1933, at which point the Government expropriated it for public benefit. It’s worth noting that we only managed to wing this visit after our first stop for the day landed our Jeep group at a remote beach where Joey said we had 45 minutes of ‘free time’. We’d had a day of ‘free time’ on our tour yesterday so we were not too impressed with this random stop. So, with not much for us to do here, I asked Joey if there was anyway our group could see these significant Temples and, to his credit, he happily took just the two of us off for a visit. Mind you, these Temples were the main selling point of the tour and the main feature profiled on the company advertising. The entry cost to the Temples also granted us access to the nearby ancient Ta’ Kola Windmill, built by the Knights of St John, so we got to see this as well. However, the time allocated for our visit to the Temple was hardly sufficient to do it justice and was yet another reason for us to lament our choice for this particular tour method of visiting Gozo.

There was a stop for lunch and then a few other random stops; Joey kept telling us it was because he was special and not like the other guides but I soon realized these regular and random stops were so Joey could have a cigarette! He lamented about not being able to smoke while he was driving! Joey also told us he’s not keen to visit Australia as he smokes 60 cigarettes a day and wouldn’t be able to afford the trip; not due to the long distance flight costs but due to the cost of cigarettes! He had trouble remembering our five names so he was call out to us by country; ‘Hey Australia’, he’d say to me or, ‘Hey Portugal’ to the other couple. It was quite amusing as he also kept saying throughout the day that ‘you are not my clients, you are my friends so I treat you special and……’. Add whatever ending you like there!

 

We had thought our water crossing to the island was scary enough but there was to be another on-board event after lunch. We stopped at this quiet little grotto where we were told to hop on a large dinghy type vessel. At least they made us put on life jackets here. We were told we were going to see the Blue Grotto of Gozo. They didn’t say it would be a significant swell and you’ll almost go overboard as well. Once we passed a cave system we were back out in the ocean, the same ocean that had tried to take us on the trip over! The poor young girl beside Mark was terrified and clinging on to him, she was so afraid that she didn’t even realized she had grabbed him! We survived this activity though and only had to pay €4 per head for this near death experience.

There were other short and random stops, again, primarily for Joey to have a cigarette, and then a 20 minute stop at the ancient Citadel. This was another frustrating moment as we would have preferred a lot more time here to explore the area. This area had been inhabited since the Stone Age but the fortification was enhanced by the Knights of St John of Malta following the Ottoman siege of 1565. But there was not time as we had to hurry back for the return death crossing to get back to Malta. We had explored returning via the fast ferry on our own but the timetable meant we would have had to wait until 7.15 pm so it was back on the death vessel. Fortunately, the crossing wasn’t quite as bad for the return journey but the people at the back of the vessel probably wouldn’t agree; they were all drenched!

We got back to Valletta by 6 pm and, being rather shell shocked, we sat at the bar around the corner and Mark downed two quick beers. Not to settle his thirst but his nerves! It will be a day we’ll never forget but one that I would never repeat in a million years. Mark and I were easily the oldest on the trip but many of the other participants were similarly unhappy with the day. The young Portuguese couple were also scared on the boat, as was an American girl and German lady I spoke with. The American girl was also unhappy to miss out on visiting the Temples; her guide had told her the Temples were closed for the day; he clearly didn’t want to take their group to the venue. When she found out Mark and I had been she was even further unimpressed with the whole outing. I add this to simply let you know it wasn’t just Mark and I that had grievances with the way the day was run. The only other people we spoke to all felt the same. It was rushed and unsafe; two things you don’t want when you pay significant money for a day trip.  

For reference; our trip was the full day Jeep trip to Gozo and the company that provided this service was Gozo Pride.